Contacting the Non-RSVP Guests

Is it appropriate to reach out to invited guests that have not RSVP’d to the wedding yet?  Absolutely!  Read on to find out when it’s appropriate to reach out, what method to contact them, and reasons why this is perfectly acceptable!

Why this is appropriate:

According to Emily Post, when someone is invited to an event, they have the responsibility to respond.  There are a variety of reasons that someone hasn’t responded yet:  they simply forgot, the invitation got lost in the shuffle, or worse, they are waiting for something better to come along.  We all assume the latter alternative, unfortunately, which can lead to strained relationships if not resolved. 

You need an accurate head count for your caterer, your seating chart, favors, and the list goes on and on!  So, you need to know who is attending so that you can plan accordingly.  Anyone that has thrown a large event understands the importance of an accurate head count.  You’ll almost always have a guest that gets sick or some other circumstance, but you don’t want people to be there that you weren’t planning on being in attendance!

When to reach out:

When do you need your catering head count turned in to your caterer?  When do you need your seating chart finalized?  These dates are part of the formula for the time in which you need to reach out to your non-RSVP guests.  I would recommend that you reach out a week before the earliest deadline you have that involves a head count.

What method to contact:

You’ll get a quicker answer with a phone call.  If they don’t answer, simply leave a voicemail.  If you have a lot of non-RSVPs, you can send them an e-mail, facebook message, or text message.  Just copy and paste the same note to them all:  “Hey Susie, I was calling to make sure that you received the invitation  to my wedding on XXX date.  Please let me know if you (and others) will be able to make it or not.  I look forward to hearing from you and hope you can make it!” 

Simple, right?  More often than not, they simply forgot to respond or lost the invitation and will feel bad for not responding.  But at least you will know!  Modern brides get frustrated with people not responding to showers and other wedding festivities, but you MUST know the headcount for the actual wedding.  It’s more cost effective and will avoid surprises!  Don’t be afraid.  Set a date to sit down and call or e-mail everyone, and that will be one less thing for you to worry about!




Emily Post

Huffington Post